THE OLDER CROWD
A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know,
'that the medication
You prescribed has to be taken
For the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
Before the senior lady replied,
I'm wondering, then,
Just how serious is my condition
Because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.'
***********************
An older gentleman was
On the operating table
Awaiting surgery
And he insisted that his son,
A renowned surgeon,
Perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia,
He asked to speak to his son
'Yes, Dad,
what is it? '
'Don't
be nervous, son;
Do your best
And just remember,
If it doesn't go well,
If something happens to me,
Your mother
Is going to come and
Live with you and your wife....'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point
When you stop lying about your age
And start bragging about it. This is so true.
I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."
---------------------------------
The older we get,
The fewer things
Seem worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------
Some people
Try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know 'why'
I look this way.
I've traveled a long way
And some of the roads weren't paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied
And would like to go back to youth,
Think of Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when
Everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------
One of the many things
No one tells you about aging
Is that it is such a nice change
From being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful,
But being old is comfortable.
First you forget names,
Then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when
You forget to pull it down.
---------------------------------
Long ago
When men cursed
And beat the ground with sticks,
It was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two guys one old one young
Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart
When they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,
'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
And I guess I wasn't paying attention
To where I was going.
The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...'
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'
The old guy says, 'Well,
Maybe I can help you find her..
What does she look like?'
' The young guy says,
'Well, she is 27 yrs
old, tall,
With red
hair,
Blue eyes, is buxom,
Long legs,
And is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours.'
HI everybody, here is an interesting information, so take heed and forward it to others. LIPSTICK INFORMATION: Something to consider Next time you go shopping for Lipstick...... This comes from someone Who works in the breast cancer unit at Mt. Sinai Hospital , in Toronto .. From: Dr. Nahid Neman If there is a female you care anything about, Share this with her. I did!!!!! I am also sharing this with the males on my e-mail list, Because they need to tell the females THEY care about as well! Recently a lipstick brand called 'Red Earth' Decreased their prices from $67 to $9.90. It contained lead. Lead is a chemical which causes cancer. The lipstick brands that contain lead are: CHRISTIAN DIOR LANCÔME CLINIQUE Y.S.L ESTEE LAUDER SHISEIDO RED EARTH (Lip Gloss) CHANEL (Lip
Conditioner) MARKET AMERICA-MOTNES
LIPSTICK. The higher the lead content, The greater the chance of causing cancer. After doing a test on lipsticks, It was found that the Y.S.L. Lipstick Contained the most amount of lead. Watch out for those lipsticks Which are supposed to stay longer. If your lipstick stays longer, it is Because of the higher content of lead. Here is the test you can do yourself: 1. Put some lipstick on your hand. 2. Use a Gold ring to scratch on the lipstick. 3. If the lipstick colour changes to black, Then you know the lipstick contains lead. Please send this information to all your girlfriends,Wives and female family members. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Centre Dioxin Carcinogens cause cancer, Especially breast cancer
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